It is a wonderful thing when you have someone’s attention; to feel wanted, needed, loved and cared for without any distractions. We look for that in our relationships and friendships, but it is quite amazing to me that, although God is everywhere, we always have His undivided attention. You do not have to pretend to be anything with the Lord; you can be yourself with Him because He sees every part of you- covered and uncovered.
As a woman, I used to go through phases where I felt like I had to be extra feminine or exaggerate certain qualities about myself in order to get the attention of that special guy. You know, that one guy in particular that we all want to notice us and see that we are worth his time. I would go out of my way to create a platform or strategically align myself in a way that would let this guy know how I felt without chasing after him. Have you have been in a space with a guy you like thinking, this is my only opportunity to get him to notice me? And if he does not, you may think, what more could I have done? Maybe some of you have not had that experience, but I have. What is funny is that I was trying to get him to notice me, but hiding at the same time because I did not want him to see me. How does that even work? As I think on it now, it seems so silly to think that this is what I used to do.
People often go to extremes on Instagram, Facebook, other forms of social media, or in person to present themselves in a way that seems more attractive and appealing, knowing deep down that the way they would love to perceived is not who they really are. What I have learned through time is this:
If God desires to present an opportunity for you to connect with someone, He is going to do it His way, and in His timing.
I went to an event once, and there was an artist there that was amazing and very humble. You could really see the fruit of God in his life. There was a light about him that could only come from God. I will also admit that I thought he was an attractive man. So anyway, I went to this event and a friend of mine was serious about taking it upon herself to introduce us. We saw him and she walked quickly behind him and stopped him, and I was freaking out in my mind because I did not want her to catch up to him, but she did. She introduced us and he was very nice, but what she wanted to happen did not. She thought that there was going to be an instant and undeniable connection and attraction between us, so she was a little frustrated when that did not take place. I was fine because I knew that nothing was going to happen. The bottom line is, it was very clear to me that this situation was forced.
I am not saying that we are not called to step out in faith. We may fail or be rejected many times before we get what God desires to bless us with, and sometimes it is simply not for us. But, let me also be very clear about this: I do not believe in a woman pursuing a man and I am always very careful in my interactions with them and want to make sure that I am following God’s leading.
Moving forward with the story, some months later, this same artist was performing in a show that I was attending. This time I saw God move in a way that was smooth, clear, and orderly. I got to talk with the artist and he did not remember me from the event where my friend tried to introduce us the first go around, but he did remember my name and a previous connection we had earlier in the year. On this occasion, I did not have to try, be, or do anything extra to be seen. I was thankful for the opportunity to meet him, but more than anything, in that moment I knew and was reminded as a woman to always let God present me in the way He chooses.
The truth is that the false exterior that we try to create is not who we are. Deep down, we hope that a man will see your flaws and love you regardless. However, the only way that this is possible is through Christ’s love for you. It is amazing to realize the amount of strength that comes from God when you know He loves you unconditionally. You will wait on Him, even when it gets frustrating and difficult.
Know that your identity does not lie in how a person or experience defines you, but through Christ. I have felt invisible in the sight of men at times, especially the ones I have found to be attractive. I would get very upset, asking God if anyone saw me. God let me know very clearly that He saw me. When Christ sees us, there is nothing in the way blocking or keeping us from the sight of those who are purposed to see us. In following Him, He will align us in the right way and time for the right one. At this point in my life, I am content and I take it as a compliment that God is keeping me covered. It is not a punishment but for a great reason.
Enjoy this season, and learn to live and love like Christ. When we know how to love like Him, we are able to love another.
We love because he first loved us, (1 John 4:19, ESV).