God has given us a desire for each other and a desire to be married. God has placed those desires in everyone so that a man will go out and pursue a woman, and make her his wife, and a girl will be happily pursued. It is completely normal to want to be married. Marriage is a system that God set up and ordained.
Marriage is a beautiful picture of the gospel. Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. Wives are commanded to submit themselves to their husbands as the church submits itself to the Lord. As the woman submits to her husband and her husband submits to the Word and to the Lord, the gospel is shown to all who look on their marriage.. and God is glorified.
So, what about the rest of us? I don’t want to miss the chance to live out the gospel for the world. I want a life that proclaims the glory of God. What about me? What about now? In 1 Corinthians chapter 7, Paul speaks about marriage and singleness, and what he says may surprise you. He doesn’t say, “get married,” and he doesn’t say, “stay single.” He says, “Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.” (vs 27) Um, well what does that mean? It means, “Hey, both are good….chill out!”
Singleness is not a curse- it is grace. It’s not about being married or single. It’s about trusting God in whatever state you are. If you are married, be content. If you are single, be content. And if you seek fulfillment in Christ, you will find it.
Paul goes on to say,
But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. (vs 32-34)
Singleness is an incredible and exceptional privilege. The gospel says you do not need anyone but God to complete you, and while marriage is a picture of Jesus Christ and His bride, singleness also portrays the gospel powerfully in that the Christian’s ultimate identity is in Christ alone.
Think of all the things that you can do focusing all your energy on Christ right now instead of caring for an entire family. Oh, Christian, there are spiritual battles to engage in right now. There are such important fights to be fought for the glory of God, and right now, you are free to focus on these battles. Right now, you have a job to do– a job that could not be done if you were married– a job that will bring God the most glory if you do it now, while you are single.
The sole purpose for our lives is not marriage, it is the glory of God.
Figure out what you are supposed to be doing, and get busy doing it! Get busy working toward things that really matter. Seek the kingdom FIRST, because even marriage is a temporary state that will eventually give way to the beautiful reality of what the picture points to- our relationship with Jesus Christ. He is it. He is enough. No one will truly complete you except Him.
I’d love to tell you that I am a spiritual giant who never struggles with loneliness or never looks up and says, “God, whatcha doin’?” Because, unfortunately, it’s not true. This was not my plan. This was never my plan, but let me tell you, God rarely does it the way WE think He should. Are we willing to trade our timeline for the schedule of the Author of time? Are we willing to give up our tiny plans for the very dreams of God? Are we willing to give our lives, our entire lives here on earth, for HIS glory? Do you think it was David’s plan to fight Goliath or become King of Israel? Do you think it was Daniel’s plan to be thrown into a den of lions? Do you think it was Moses’s plan to wander in the wilderness with God’s people for most of his life? What about Mary? I mean, if Mary was willing to give up her dreams of a perfect wedding and have a baby out of wedlock who would eventually save the world, I think I can give up my plan, my timeline, the way I thought that it should go, and surrender it to God. I think I can let go of what I think is best to really have the perfect way of God. I can really be content with what He sends my way because I don’t want to miss out on proclaiming His glory the exact way He planned me to do it. I can be content with the opportunities that He sends my way to live the gospel out in front of the world, and I can trust the heart and wisdom of my God to direct my life and work everything for my good and His glory.
Don’t stop believing. Don’t stop praying. Don’t stop looking. Do stop stressing. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are running out of time. Because when the Author of time deems it right for you to fall in love and be married, then you will, and it will be magnificent.
I’m single and I’m giving up– giving it all up to God. Won’t you do the same? Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him. For who is God save the LORD? or who is a rock save our God? It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect. Psalm 18:30-32
Lauren DeMoss is a 26 year old teacher at a Christian school in New England. Having grown up in a christian home, she knows the struggles of christian girls and the pull of the world on their hearts. By God’s grace, she also knows the peace and love of a life given completely to Jesus Christ. Through her writing, she desires to point people to Jesus, encourage, and inspire her generation and the next to be fully abandoned to their Savior. It is really all about Him. Check out her site at TheFulltimeGirl.Com.