“It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.” Proverbs 25:24
As women, we sometimes forget or ignore that though our husbands aren’t wired like us; they still experience fear, pain, rejection, and many other feelings. They, too, are emotional beings created in the image of God.
Consider how terrible you would feel if your husband didn’t consider your emotions. It would eat at us like termites! Most of us would probably explode into some sort of crying mess. While men may not scream at us and run away to cry on their bed (totally guilty), they still feel the rejection of our nagging words, and the weight of them can crush their spirit. We may not find them weeping in the bathroom eating ice cream, but we very well could find them shutting down on the inside.
Your husband is not a robot, but if you want him to become one, keep on pretending he can’t feel pain. Continue to act like you’re the only one in your marriage who is capable of having a broken heart. Over time, you’ll get your robot, manufactured straight from your grumbling spirit. Congratulations, you’ve just destroyed the communication in your relationship.
When a wife complains to her husband about finances, discontentment with their home, etc., these are direct blows to his heart. They tell him he’s not doing a good enough job as a provider. They crush his spirit and only inspire frustration and fear in his mind. Most husbands work hard to be a good leader and provider for their families. They want to be successful in this God given task. As wives, our words are weighty in the lives of our men. And our words can either speak life or death, encourage or cut down, heal or break. I want mine to be words of life, encouragement, and healing. It’s time we start building our men up rather than cutting them down to size.
Father, we pray for grace to speak words that honor and respect our husbands. Help us to see them as our brothers in Christ and not as a punching bag. May we be women who love our men well. Thank You for the gift of marriage. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
I encourage you to think about the words you’re speaking to your husband and how they may affect him. When you want to complain about something, try to decipher if it could cause him to be discouraged. Think of some practical ways you can build him up in Christ.