When I was thinking today, about the idea of being in a relationship, I begin to think about all the things that I am not. I started to make a list of what I want to be before I enter into marriage one day. And this list kept getting larger and larger until my issues became bigger than God and the idea of marriage disintegrated.
I got overwhelmed and in that moment God showed me a reflection of who I can be in relationship and what is truly important to me. Imperfections. Those are the things that catch my eye, and go way beyond being observant.
Then God asked me, “Is that the kind of person you want to be in relationship with?” One who is constantly seeing your flaws, pointing them out all the time, and reminding you of them daily. A person who is not helping, praying, and seeing you through them, as I would; But rather highlighting your problems and issues for you consistently, with no way of escape. That is not God.
Then I thought to myself, “Yikes! That is crazy. I do not want that.” But this is what we do to ourselves daily and it only helps to isolate us. It does not call for intimacy, which allows people to get to know all of who we are, with our hang-ups and all.
Then God said to me, “Come as you are.” In this moment I begin to hear Nirvana’s song, “Come As You Are,” in my head and the first set of lyrics played over and over again:
Come as you are
As you were
As I want you to be
As a friend
As a friend
As an old enemy
Take your time
Hurry up
The choice is your
Don’t be late
Take a rest
As a friend
As an old memoria
I thought, “Wow.” This is what God says to us daily, yet we find it so hard to bring our imperfect selves to a relationship with Him, let alone a friendship or marriage. Then He reminded me that if we truly understand who He is, and trust Him, then we have no problem with coming as we are; Because we know that He is covering and guiding us.
We forget that quite often.
I get that it is important for us to have things in line with God first, who gives us the confidence and strength to enter into relationship. The Holy Spirit guides us as we get our houses [our selves], and other areas of our lives in order, to share with our spouses [ others].
For a perfectionist, like I can be at times, this idea can be taken too far to the point of error.
I try to figure out everything myself. Trying to fill in all gaps of the story yet untold; Down to the most intricate detail. When we do this, it is because we are afraid of being hurt, rejected or abandoned. We fear the unknown and we do not want to deal with the pain of making a wrong choice. It scares us knowing that whatever we decide, we have to live and love with that decision everyday of our lives.
It is so funny how God has given us free will; never forcing us into anything, yet we fear making a choice.
This is where He comes in and says, “come as you are,” and I will guide you because I created you. I know you. All that you cannot see, I can, so let me help you along the way. Understand that I accept who you are, I see you as my friend, who at one time was my enemy. You can choose to take your time or come quickly, either way, do not miss this appointment. Do not miss out on this relationship. Time is ticking.
We are afraid to let God be our guide, because we want to be in control of everything, whether in or out of marriage [relationship]. This makes it even harder for us to submit [consent] to the guidance that wants to help us.
We do not realize that when we come as we are, we are freeing up ourselves to really grow and rest in the peace of the unknown [faith].
We are trusting in being known, naked [vulnerable], and accepted, just as we are.
The [Holy] Spirit and the bride (the church, the true Christians) say, Come. And let him who is listening say, Come. And let everyone come who is thirsty [who is painfully conscious of his need of those things by which the soul is refreshed, supported, and strengthened]; and whoever [earnestly] desires to do it, let him come, take, appropriate, and drink the water of Life without cost. [Isa. 55:1.] (Revelation 22:17 AMP)
Come as you are
As you were
As I want you to be
As a friend
As a friend
As an old enemy
Take your time
Hurry up
The choice is your
Don’t be late
Take a rest
As a friend
As an old memoria
-Nirvana
